No Chillum? No Wraps? No Problem.
So you scored yourself a little nug, but when you realize there's no way to smoke the bud, your enthusiasm quickly turns to sheer panic.
Nope. Not today Satan.
We're going to show you 8 unique alternatives to tickle your inner stoner engineer brain, so you can #getlit and chill tf out, because you have to do it all over again tomorrow.
Using our creative brains during desperate times, smokers everywhere have come up with various alternative ways to enjoy their flower without having to rely on any papers or even a pipe.
Though it may seem impossible, nothing is too tricky for the smoking enthusiast.
Jump to a section or keep reading below below to see the 8 ways to smoke without any glass pipes or rolling papers.
- Yard Bong
- An Apple
- Hot Knife Method
- Eat It
- Can Pipe
- Hollowed-Out Cig
- Smoke the Nug Whole!
- Tin Foil Pipe
Ah, yes, this one might bring back some nostalgic memories. As we went dankrupt in our past and ran low on our stash, turning to a homemade bong was always the best option.
Now, it’s also ideal for those who don’t have a glass bong, pipe, or papers on hand.
For this, see if you can track down an old plastic beer yard from some poor decision that you kept or snag a 1 liter bottle.
Really, you can use almost any plastic bottle, but the closer you can get to the plastic bottle having a fatter bottom [aka thicc af], the better.
Here's What You Need:
- Fat Bottom Plastic Bong-ish Shaped Bottle
- Aluminum foil
- Knife or Scissors
- Tape (duct tape or electrical works)
- Glass Tube or break a cheap cigar tube
- Some ground, fresh delicious ceremonial flower.
Step 1: At the base of the yard, use the lighter to melt the plastic enough to make it soft where you would imagine a bowl stem would go if it were a real bong.
If you need to use the knife or scissor to help open the hole up enough, then do it.
Step 2: Push your tubing through the melted plastic into the base of the yard where the water will go.
As the plastic cools it should help seal the tube in place, but you will definitely need the tape to make sure no air can get in around the tube.
Step 3: Now craft a bowl with the tin foil so it can sit on top of the tube you just inserted. Poke holes in the tin foil, stuff it, and it's a done deal.
You have created a homemade backyard bong!
Step 4: Add Water and Smoke
Add water to the bottom so the downstem is covered and have a smoke session to rival all others.
Another classic method for desperate smokers is that of the apple.
Step 1: Grab any apple, the bigger and crispier the better, and pull off the stem on the top.
This indentation will serve as the bowl.
Step 2: Take a small knife and carve a narrow, one inch deep hole down the center of your apple, starting from the stem.
Hint: You don’t want to make the hole too big, or else your ceremonial flower will fall through.
Step 3: Carefully carve a similar hole going horizontally to join with the vertical one you made a second ago.
Once you have this L shape going through your apple, you’re all ready to smoke.
Hot Knife Method
Long before we had the option of pipes with carbs and four-foot-tall bongs, we had the hot knife method.
This method is fairly simple but can be a bit more dangerous so be careful when performing.
With this, all you’ll need is a knife, a heat source and some sticky-icky to get your mind right.
Step 1: Start by heating up your knife so that it’s red hot. Seriously, it literally needs to be glowing red.
You can achieve this usually by torching it or holding it over your stove top.
Step 2: Once it’s glowing, you can place your bud directly onto the knife with tongs, and hover over it with your face.
The extreme temperature will vaporize your flower enough to give you a hefty inhale of smoke.
A Couple Tips: For more efficacy with flower, try heating two knives and pressing the bud between them.
If you want to collect the smoke or vapor, you can create a dome over your contraption to ensure all the clouds envelope your brain.
Eat it up
If you got a nice fresh ceremonial nugget of nature's most effective natural weapon of peace, and are feeling adventurous, then eat it up!
Edibles are a great option for someone wanting to use up the rest of their stash but who doesn’t have the tools to smoke it.
With this, you can choose to cook your flower down into butter or oil, and then add it into any everyday recipe that you have.
One of the most popular ways to eat the bud is blended up finely in a smoothie or green juice.
Whether that’s infused cookies, pasta, or veggies is up to you, but regardless of what you choose, portion it out and learn how to get the right dosage of edible, according to your tolerance.
Just be wary that edibles are incredibly potent, so, when making them, be super cognizant about how much flower you’re adding.
It also take a while to kick-in so don't go over stuffing yourself all because you're impatient.
That is the recipe for disaster.
You’ve probably seen a can pipe a time or two in your days, whether it be in the movies or during a outdoors sesh far from civilized life.
Though it may seem a little shady, these homemade pipes are sure to get the job done when you need them.
Step 1: Gather an empty, clean soda or beer can, a small knife or needle, your cannabit of truth, and a lighter.
Step 2: Indent your can in the middle, creating a place for your little crushed smokeable buddies.
Step 3: Create another thumb-sized indent on the side of your can, like a carb on a pipe.
Step 4: Using your needle or small knife, poke various tiny holes in the middle of your can where you squished it, making a grating pattern.
Step 5: Create a bigger hole in the side to serve as the carb.
Step 6: Load some ground ceremonial herbs in the indentation you’ve made on the center of the can, put the can up to your mouth (after removing the pop-tab), and light carefully or you'll incite the riot.
Make sure your finger is covering the carb and you’re inhaling gently.
A hollowed-out cigarette may seem obvious, but it’s incredibly effective when you’re out of other materials.
With this, as long as you have an untouched cigarette, a lighter, and some ground-up herb, you’re 100% good to go.
Step 1: Using tweezers, carefully remove all of the material inside the cigarette without damaging the paper it’s rolled in.
If you don’t want a spliff, make sure to remove all of the material inside to the best of your abilities.
Step 2: Once it’s empty, you can carefully start to pack the rolled paper just like you would a pre-rolled cone.
Twist up the top, roll it up into the sleeve of your white t-shirt, and you're a greaser!
Pro Smokers Tip
Have backups and never worry about trying to engineer something. I always have some one hitters laying around, just in case I get into a bind. I recommend an emergency stash of the Atomic Blaze 5 pack of chillums.
Smoke the Nug Whole!
I know, I know: it sounds crazy. It's not recommended.
But, this can actually quite easily be done with a little practice. Smoking your nug whole isn’t the most effective, but it can definitely produce the effects you need with the materials you have.
We recommend watching a few YouTube tutorials before trying it yourself.
Step 1: Take a healthy nug (like whole, full-sized nug, not any popcorn ones), and put the stem side up to your mouth.
Step 2: Poke a hole on the opposite side of your nugget of truth, for better airflow.
Light that side of your bud and start inhaling.
Eventually, you’ll start to feel the smoke from the plant fill your lungs, all without any papers, bongs, or pipes.
It works, but not worth it.
Not recommended though.
Tin Foil Pipe
This is another homemade option that is definitely not recommended.
Using this much tin foil isn't good for the environment and also isn't great for your lungs. But then again desperate times call for desperate measures.
Step 1: Twist a big piece of tin foil into a tube, and turn up the end to make a make a bowl. You don't need to be an engineer for this.
Step 2: Poke little holes into the bowl for air flow, pop the top, pack it up, spark the flame, and inhale the goodness.
It'll do the job, but it feels really dirty; almost traumatic childhood dirty.
Don't go there, unless you want to see a ghosts in your future.
That's a Wrap
Listen, we're not giving you actual advice on what to do, only theoretical things that you could potentially do, if you were in a theoretical scenario, with a limited number of potential possibilities to achieve your desired outcome of getting stoned.
Use your best judgment to make the best decisions to get the desired outcome for yourself, in for your unique self-serving simulation of a life.
Take the high road.
Get a bunch of cheap glass pipes or glass one hitter to keep in backpacks, glove boxes, purses, and cargo pockets.